Would you light my candle?
So, as I might have referenced, I am officiating two wedding ceremonies
this summer. We're about a month away from the first and I've been
working diligently on the - for lack of a better word - script. The
groom is insistent on a unity candle. No problem. The service is
outdoors and likely to be windy, but sure. In discussions the bride has
stated that it is important that they leave the 'personal candles'
burning rather than extinguish them once the unity candle is lit.
I went in search of a ceremony that included this and the best I found online
(my book from the ULC only extinguished) mentioned states it is to show
"they still retain their individuality." This is not quite what she's
going for. So, while I struggle to write a passage (grrr. I'm so not a
writer) that encompasses the idea the whole is greater than the sum of
its parts and that it is the individuals that will be continuing to keep
said marriage/candle aglow blah blah blah (I said I wasn't a writer) I
started thinking. Thinking I wanted to ask a few feminists I know,
married and unmarried what they think of this whole deal. Did you or
would you have a unity candle ceremony? Why or why not? What would you
or did you want it to symbolize? Just trying to get the creative juices
flowing....
this summer. We're about a month away from the first and I've been
working diligently on the - for lack of a better word - script. The
groom is insistent on a unity candle. No problem. The service is
outdoors and likely to be windy, but sure. In discussions the bride has
stated that it is important that they leave the 'personal candles'
burning rather than extinguish them once the unity candle is lit.
I went in search of a ceremony that included this and the best I found online
(my book from the ULC only extinguished) mentioned states it is to show
"they still retain their individuality." This is not quite what she's
going for. So, while I struggle to write a passage (grrr. I'm so not a
writer) that encompasses the idea the whole is greater than the sum of
its parts and that it is the individuals that will be continuing to keep
said marriage/candle aglow blah blah blah (I said I wasn't a writer) I
started thinking. Thinking I wanted to ask a few feminists I know,
married and unmarried what they think of this whole deal. Did you or
would you have a unity candle ceremony? Why or why not? What would you
or did you want it to symbolize? Just trying to get the creative juices
flowing....
posted by K-Lyn @ 7:21 PM
5 Comments:
At 10:16 AM,
Julie said…
So this is on the practical side -
Is the reception inside? I was at an outdoor wedding and it was so windy that they did the candle part at the indside reception instead.
At 3:40 PM,
K-Lyn said…
Ah...a wonderful observation! Reception is indeed indoors. I'll throw that out there to them. We were thinking of doing the wine thing instead but neither of them were too keen. If no candles then nothing...
At 9:13 PM,
~N said…
No, just the candles, but then not heated.
What? Do I have something on my face?
At 11:00 PM,
K-Lyn said…
~n,
I don't think it's a matter of opinion, empirically you are hilarious.
At 12:10 PM,
Julie said…
Do I understand correctly that the reason she want to keep them lit is NOT to represent that they keep their individuality? So what is here reason for keeping them lit? And does anything need to be said about it in that part of the ceremony? Just do the Unity Candle part of the script, then they just put the candles down and don't blow them out. Unless it is important to her that it is pointed out they are staying lit.
Personally, I don't think I would leave them lit. (Remember, though, I'm not all that educated in weddings). For me it represents the life you are leaving behind. Now you are starting a new chapter in your life, in which you are still an individual, but you have to admit things have changed. Just like moving to a new town or starting a new career.
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