T'was the Night Before Tech Week

I actually wanted to write this parody and perhaps someday I will but for now, since there will be much silence on the blog front as I disappear into the theatre for the next 16 days (Reveling) I will leave you with this bit of humor to get you through:

Things Never Said in the Theatre

BY THE PRODUCER:

- Of course there's enough money to go around.

- Wow! We're under budget!

- No thanks, I don't drink.

BY THE DIRECTOR:

- Wow, the designers were right on, weren't they?

- No, today is the tech rehearsal; we'll re-work that scene later.

- I think the scene changes are too fast.

- I really can't take credit for that; it was all the crew.

- No thanks, I don't drink.

BY THE STAGE MANAGER:

- It looks as though there'll be time for a third dress rehearsal.

- Take your time getting back from break.

- No, I called that perfectly the first time - let's move on.

- Wow! These are wonderful headsets! I just love them.

- No thanks, I don't drink.

BY THE DESIGNERS:

- Of course all of my drawings were turned in on time.

- Yes, it absolutely is my fault that the set looks awful.

- You know, you might have a point there.

- The director is right, obviously I wasn't giving him what he wanted.

- We have too many gel colors in stock, I can't choose.

- The shop will have the costumes ready on time.

- No thanks, I don't drink.

BY THE TECHNICAL DIRECTOR:

- This is the most complete and informative set of drawings I've ever seen.

- We built it right the first time.

- No problem, I'll deal with that right away.

- I love designers.

- No thanks, I don't drink.

BY THE ACTOR:

- Let's not talk about me.

- I really think my big scene should be cut.

- This costume is SO comfortable.

- No problem, I can do that for myself.

- I'm sure someone told me there was a wall there, I just forgot.

- Without the crew the show would never run - let's thank them.

- No thanks, I don't drink.

BY THE STAGE CREW:

- There's room for that over here.

- No, no. I'm sure that is our job.

- All the tools are carefully locked away.

- Can we do that scene change again please?

- I think we have too many people on this crew.

- No thanks, I don't drink.